Random bit of cute for the day: I’ve mentioned before that I often address Himself as Loki-doki, to the chagrin of some. I don’t know why I started calling him that, but it became habit after the long blot at his Ve at ECT last year. As the hours went by and the bottle of vodka dwindled, I wandered back and forth between his Ve and Hel’s. “Come on, Loki-doki! I’m going to visit your daughter! Come with!” It’s a catchy little term of endearment that just slips out when I’m not even thinking about it.

Just now, on a whim, I wondered what “doki” even means, beyond being a nonsense word attached to “okey.” Evidently, there is a term out there in the great wide world that has meaning: doki doki is Japanese for the sound of a heart beating.

D’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Loki is my heart, so it’s adorably appropriate that my nickname for him is a play on words for a heartbeat.

Lest this post get too cute, I’m also randomly having a mild existential crisis. The new Snapchat filter that shows you how you’d look as the opposite sex? Dude, I look better as a man than as a woman. Boy-me has a jawline, me-me is a boiled potato. I sent the pic to my mom, who simply replied, “Yup, that’s you as Gunnar Thorr. Classic square-headed Norwegian. Couldn’t look more like a viking if you tried.” Thanks, mom, for reminding me that even my name would have been cooler as a guy. So because today is being the Mondayest Monday ever to Monday, I keep bitching to Statler about how awesome my life would be if I was Gunnar and not Lea. “Gunnar would be living in Iceland. Gunnar wouldn’t have all of these health issues. Gunnar would have his pick of partners. Gunnar would Gunnar would Gunnar would.” Gunnar would have a fucking jawline. (Clearly, I’m hung up over the jawline/chin thing.) Statler is threatening to get me a “WWGD” bracelet because I won’t shut up about the hypothetical me-but-not-me. So I guess I’m just going to start making decisions based on what hypothetical dude-me would do. That’s normal and healthy, right? I’m such an amazingly well adjusted individual.

At least I unwittingly come up with adorably appropriate names for my best godfriend. Loki-doki is insisting that me-me is better than Gunnar-me. Which is true, I actually don’t have a lot of complaints about my life. It’s really just the potato-face that annoys me. Po – tay – toe.