To Love Him is to Love Her

Anyone who’s read the lore knows that Loki doesn’t travel alone. The myths and sagas are full of tales of Odhinn and Loki or Thorr and Loki or all three wandering around together. I’ve written before that during my time as an Odhinnswoman, I never had one-on-one experiences with Ol’ One Eye since Loki was always lurking around, watching, poking, waiting. Now that I’m dedicated to Himself, I know what it’s like to get solo time with a deity; he certainly enjoys spending time with me, whether it’s providing wry commentary on what I’m doing when I’m out or about or just settling in for some companionship, coffee, and cigarettes. He comes and goes, and his presence is always welcomed. As I’ve said before, he’s a neat dude to have around.

As my relationship with Loki has deepened, I’ve started building an incredible relationship with his wife, Sigyn, which is a glorious bonus and phenomenal treasure in and of itself. I’ve had dealings with her in the past, of course; she’s the one who taught me Loki’s worth loving, way back in my early days of devotion, when I was a bit bristly about Loki’s perma-presence at Odhinn’s side. Though I wasn’t raised Christian, I was still encountering a lot of Loki-hate and wariness about him in the message boards and books I was reading, painting him as the Nordic equivalent of Satan. It was a baffling experience for me because I’d always had a fondness for the Trickster growing up, and my first tattoo, a design I’d picked when I was 6, was (and still is) affectionately called my Loki-fox. But when the estrangement with my father and his family deepened, I started looking to mainstream heathenry and Asatru, and back in the early aughts, there was not a lot of love for Loki. So I’d wondered if my understanding of him was wrong, if I’d been taken for a ride thinking he was worthy. Had I been, dare I say it. . .tricked? My gut instinct and my brain were at odds, trying to reconcile the Loki I knew and the Loki that everyone else in the Asatru community spoke about.

It wasn’t a big deal at the time, really, since I was an Odhinnswoman. Really, the Loki Debate was pretty moot; I was focusing myself on good ol’ Grimnir, and Loki was just peripheral. Interestingly, around 2002-2003, my mom revealed herself as very pro-Loki, a stance she holds to this day (and frankly, I think she prefers Lokian me over Odhinnswoman me). She was raised Catholic, so it astounded me that she thought Loki was ultimately a good dude, given the things ex-Christian converts were saying about him. She paved the way for Sigyn to tap me on the head and say, “He’s not evil. I would never have stayed with him if I thought he was a bad man. I love him, and you should love him, too. He’s worth it, and he deserves it.”

If there’s any sort of theme constant readers have picked up on, it’s that when the gods tell me something or suggest something, my response is usually along the lines of, “Okay. I’ll think about it.” And then I leave them hanging until I’m good and ready to actually pay attention. Sigyn’s perspective (as well as my formerly Catholic mom’s) put to rest the minor conflict in my head, but I still focused on Odhinn. I kept my focus on Odhinn and several others without actually making any offerings or consideration to Loki beyond pouring him a drink when one was given to Odhinn (even though according to all of my friends, I talked about Loki ALL THE TIME). Readers already know it took me nearly two decades to finally give Loki the attention he’d been waiting for. And with Loki came Sigyn.

She’s a remarkable lady, that Sigyn. She embodies love and loyalty, compassion and comfort. She is steadfast in her devotion, remarkably strong in both heart and will. After Loki’s offer at ECT, when I went to my diviner friend, Sigyn had a message for me, too. It’s my nature to be kind and patient (with everyone but myself, that is), but she reminded me that I should “never be afraid to bite.” She was essentially asking me to take a page from her book: there’s nothing wrong with being quiet and sweet, but when the situation calls for it, I can and should go for the jugular. A “don’t mistake my kindness for weakness” kinda deal. There’s not much about her in the lore, and most of what modern heathens know about her falls into the range of UPG. I admit that for most of my life, I’ve known next to nothing about her aside from her tremendous love for the Trickster.

In the last several months, as I’ve gotten closer to her, I’ve learned that she’s sweet, but holy hell is she fierce. This doesn’t really surprise me — who can picture Loki wanting to marry a pushover? He needs someone strong enough to temper his tomfoolery. He needs someone as clever and biting and intelligent as himself, and she certainly fits the mold. She’s a lovely blend of gentle and bitey, and frankly, she’s a good role model, and I adore her. She teases and jokes, but it’s in a sweet, affectionate way. She’s incredibly protective, and several months ago when Bad Shit was going down, her back stiffened just as much as Loki’s did and she made it clear that This Was the Time to Bite, and Bite Hard. So I did. And things went in my favor. Granted, it’s easy to take a stand when you’ve got gods backing you and urging you on, but it was a victory nonetheless. Her voice is quieter than her husband’s, but it’s just as strong.

She’s also been putting in her two cents regarding the curiosity and interest I have in veiling. Neither she nor Loki are making me cover, but I’ve still been feeling the tug in that direction even though it baffles me. Last week, she clarified it for me: “It’s not about modesty or piety, it’s about protection. Think of it as a symbolic shield against negativity; cover your head to protect from the viper’s venom dripping down.” Then she teased me about the “need” for “protection” since half of my head is shaved, which leaves the scalp vulnerable. Silly Sigyn.

This year, I have the tremendous honor and privilege of creating and keeping a Ve for Sigyn at East Coast Thing. Loki is a recent addition to the Ve Stead, and this year, as far as I know, will be the first for Sigyn (at least, the first in a while). I’m also lucky to help with the Loki Ve, and I’ll probably be helping with my kindred’s Ve to our patron, as well. Last year, my first year at ECT, was an earth-and-soul-shaking experience, and while I don’t anticipate anything even remotely close to the magnitude of the revelations of last year (really, how could this possibly be topped?!), I’m beyond eager for this year’s events. It’s both humbling and exhilarating to be more involved this time around, and I’m pretty damn giddy about contributing to the Ves.

I just hope I do Sigyn justice with the Ve I create for her and that it gives my fellow heathens a chance to reflect on steadfast love, loyalty, and compassion in our community. Our Victory Woman, our Light in the Cave, our Northern Star deserves recognition. She is Loki’s Joy and Loki’s Sanctuary, and it’s time she gets some help holding the bowl.

One thought on “To Love Him is to Love Her

  1. “My gut instinct and my brain were at odds, trying to reconcile the Loki I knew and the Loki that everyone else in the Asatru community spoke about.”



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