This is one of those posts that I hesitate to share, because holy crow does it make me sound crazy. But hey, I’m an open book, and if this amuses anyone, then I’m satisfied.
Not long after mentioning Freyja in my last post, she decided to make herself less scarce. She’s also making me question my sanity. This morning has been . . . curious. . . and odd. . . moreso than usual.
“You’ve come a long way,” she mused.
“Yup, thanks to me,” was Loki’s reply.
“Despite you, maybe,” she said.
“Ummmmm,” said I.
Freyja was the one to welcome me back to the fold after my failed experiment with Christianity. She was the one who started helping me ease back into the old ways, reacquainting me with what I always knew, but had forgotten in my silly teenage rebellion. She was one of the first gods specifically pointed out by my grandfather in my dream about the foxes. And she was the one who handed me over to Odhinn when they decided I was ready. Though it happened seventeen years ago, I remember that moment keenly, as though it happened an hour ago, because it was pretty overwhelming and baffling. Of course, with Odhinn came Loki, who’d always been snuffling around in the background, but became more noticeable in my dealings with Ol’ One Eye. And while in my own UPG and experience, Freyja doesn’t have a problem with Loki and vice versa, the closer I got to Loki over the years, the more she drifted away.
Well, the bitch is back, and I mean that in the most endearing way.
“Chill the wine, we’ve got some catching up to do,” she said last night.
“Hurrrr, ‘kay,” I derped as I threw a bottle in the freezer for quicker results. Sigyn giggled in the background, saying something about us having a girl’s night. My life, it’s weird, and believe me, I know exactly how insane I sound. Don’t worry, it’ll get much, much weirder as this post continues. I then promptly fell asleep, even though it was barely 6 PM. As of this morning, the wine is still in the freezer, untouched. Guess we’ll have our girl’s night tonight.
My drive into work is where I really felt like I was losing touch with reality. I’m just cruising along, enjoying my morning smoke and grooving to Gorillaz when I suddenly got the ridiculously intense impression of Freyja in the passenger seat, and, making things even weirder, Loki hissing at her from the backseat. Like, full on cat hissing. I’m surprised he wasn’t “kicking” the back of her seat while he was at it.
What. Is. My. Life.
“So,” she says to me. “Your love life. Let’s talk.”
Me, terminally single, not really doing anything about it: Uhhhhhh, wut.
Freyja: I’m here to help. All you have to do is ask.
Loki: It’s fine. She’s fine. I’ve got this. Everything’s under control.
Freyja: Things aren’t going fast enough.
Loki: There’s a plan, relax.
Me: Uhhhhhhhhhhh, wtf guys.
Freyja: Let’s speed this up.
Me: Do I get a say in this?
Freyja and Loki, in unison: NO.
Me: I should get a say in this.
Freyja and Loki: No.
Me: . . . . . I don’t know. Just because I’m demanding a say in this, don’t expect me to know what I want to say.
Loki: That’s my girl.
So I shut up and let them bicker for the rest of my (blessedly) brief drive to work. This is why I chain smoke, y’all.
Long story short, Freyja seems to think something needs to happen in an extinct arena of my life, and Loki’s adamant that he’s already got a plan, and I’m just wondering if I need to commit myself to an asylum.
This is going to be a long, long day. At least I’ve got a delightfully icy bottle of wine waiting for me when I get home.
P.S. I love this picture of Freyja by DaniKaulakis because it reminds me of every photograph I’ve ever taken of Blue and Runa together. Blue always looks pissed off, and Rue always looked like a neurotic wreck. So this is my new favorite image of Freyja. Welcome back, you salty bitch.